Hidden Anger

Exposing Hidden Anger and Giving it a Voice

In this important blog, we’re exposing hidden anger and giving it a voice.  People will tell you that anger, bitterness, hurt –  all unpleasant emotions – fade over time.  They don’t.  Especially if they are deeply rooted in pain and fear.  My apologies if that sounds harsh, but if you’re going to heal,  you have to get real.   Right from early childhood, we develop an ability to suppress negative emotions and create ‘coping mechanisms’ to deal with situations that seem beyond our control.   Over time, as we grow older, those coping mechanisms no longer work, so new ways to deal with unpleasant feelings and emotions are found.  Often this is how addictions begin.    Children who grew up in a violent environment, or one in which a parent was always raging and threatening,  will find it most difficult to express anger.  In fact, as adults they see any form of anger as a negative, and fear Read More

Andrew Loves Roslyn Banner

Staying Friends After Separation & Divorce

Although maintaining a friendship with your ex is part of popular culture now, it’s unrealistic to expect this to happen immediately.  There’s a reason you parted,  let’s keep that in mind.  There needs to be time for healing to occur after all the grieving, and there’s no telling how long that will take.  Grieving’s unpredictable like that.    And after the grieving, being friends with your ex doesn’t mean you  take on BFF status (that’s Best Friends Forever for those who aren’t familiar with the acronym).   In an effort to maintain a friendly co-existence with my ex, we continued to seek each others company regularly right from the outset.  Partly due to family commitments, sometimes purely as companionship, and a whole lot because I was still in co-dependent mode.  While I was thoroughly enjoying my new-found sense of freedom, he looked sad and lonely.  And so I continued to feel responsible for his happiness,  just as Read More