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Staying Friends After Separation & Divorce

Although maintaining a friendship with your ex is part of popular culture now, it’s unrealistic to expect this to happen immediately.  There’s a reason you parted,  let’s keep that in mind.  There needs to be time for healing to occur after all the grieving, and there’s no telling how long that will take.  Grieving’s unpredictable like that.    And after the grieving, being friends with your ex doesn’t mean you  take on BFF status (that’s Best Friends Forever for those who aren’t familiar with the acronym).   In an effort to maintain a friendly co-existence with my ex, we continued to seek each others company regularly right from the outset.  Partly due to family commitments, sometimes purely as companionship, and a whole lot because I was still in co-dependent mode.  While I was thoroughly enjoying my new-found sense of freedom, he looked sad and lonely.  And so I continued to feel responsible for his happiness,  just as Read More

when a long term marriage comes to an end

Fairytale Relationships – When ‘Loving Too Much’ is Destructive

When a long-term marriage comes to an end, it’s an opportunity to let go of the life you thought you wanted in order to manifest the life you truly deserve.    In getting to this stage, you must be prepared to let go of the illusion of the fairytale.  Sometimes, A Frog is Really a Frog Despite the woman’s movement taking us out of the kitchen and into the world of equal opportunity, it seems that even the strongest, most independent and intelligent of us women, still manage to become needy and dependent when love finds its way into our hearts.    For me, it was 1986 (some 30 years ago, but who’s counting).    It started with an unconscious recreation of the Cinderella complex – a term I made up – but essentially it’s an inability to distinguish fairytale from reality.   A belief that no matter how bad you’re relationship is, it Read More