THE NEW YOU-3

Searching For Meaning After Cancer Diagnosis

In February of 2015 I left my marriage of 30years.  The next year, April 2016, the day after Mothers Day, at the age of 54, I was diagnosed with stage IV colon cancer and told I had 2 to 3 years to live.  Maybe 4 with chemo.  Do I feel blessed?  Absolutely!  The cancer, and my marriage breakdown, have both catapulted me towards becoming a more authentic version of myself!   An unexpected diagnosis brings home the truth that we simply can’t know what lay ahead, so why do we spend so much time focusing our attention on a future in which we have no control? I am now simply at the next phase of my life here and now. The cancer has created so many blessings, and perhaps if I didn’t already have such strong spiritual conviction, I may have missed recognising these beautiful blessed gifts. In searching for greater meaning Read More

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A Journey Through Trust & Letting Go

I like to tout the expression “Let go, Let God”.   But as with all things,  I often question if I’m actually living what I preach.  And rightly so.   To find out,  I headed off to India for a month,  declaring it my My Eat Pray Love year.    Well, OK, so it was only a month, and I was on a guided tour.  But learning and insight can take place anywhere at anytime.  I had already spent a good many years wandering the globe on solo journeys, so I can tell you it makes no difference.  But I digress. The point is, after 30 years of marriage and co-dependent living, I was incredibly fearful about stepping out into the world on my own.  This journey was about taking a risk on myself, on my life.  It was about practicing trust in the universe to guide me, and simply letting go.  Letting go Read More

It started with an unconscious recreation of the Cinderella complex – which is an inability to distinguish fairytale from reality.

Fairytale Relationships – When ‘Loving Too Much’ is Destructive

In June of 2014, my 30 year marriage came to an end via text message.  After years of feeling invisible, powerless, voiceless and unloved, it seemed my efforts to make my husband love me amounted to nothing.   Two years on, after a cancer diagnosis pushed me into some deep soul-searching,  I discovered it wasn’t so much that my husband didn’t love me,  rather, he was reflecting back to me the lack of love I already had for myself.    You see, in all of life, everything we experience, and the way we experience it, is a reflection of our inner most thoughts at even the most subconscious level. Thoughts are powerful like that.  I have never held strong values about anything, therefore my boundaries were flimsy.  And without a good dose of self-respect, self-love, of course I attracted a partner who showed me every part of my wounded self.   In fact, Read More