THE NEW YOU-3

Searching For Meaning After Cancer Diagnosis

In February of 2015 I left my marriage of 30years.  The next year, April 2016, the day after Mothers Day, at the age of 54, I was diagnosed with stage IV colon cancer and told I had 2 to 3 years to live.  Maybe 4 with chemo.  Do I feel blessed?  Absolutely!  The cancer, and my marriage breakdown, have both catapulted me towards becoming a more authentic version of myself!   An unexpected diagnosis brings home the truth that we simply can’t know what lay ahead, so why do we spend so much time focusing our attention on a future in which we have no control? I am now simply at the next phase of my life here and now. The cancer has created so many blessings, and perhaps if I didn’t already have such strong spiritual conviction, I may have missed recognising these beautiful blessed gifts. In searching for greater meaning Read More

Stage 4 Colon Cancer Diagnosis

Stage 4 Bowel Cancer – Diagnosis and Treatment

Stage 4 Bowel Cancer!  No warning.  None.  Blood tests fine. Bowel movements normal.  General health is optimal.  Am I feeling positive?  Absolutely!  Cancer treatment is improving all the time and despite doctors still being very negative when delivering prognosis, there are plenty of encouraging survivor stories out there.  When first diagnosed,  I found that reading personal accounts from others on a similar journey offered hope and encouragement that doctors largely seemed unwilling or incapable of giving. My own journey through treatment has been such a positive experience. It is my wish that by sharing my own journey through Stage IV bowel cancer and chemotherapy,  you will feel more hopeful about your own future.  At the very least, you may find a sense of peace. Please share us with your friends:0

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A Journey Through Trust & Letting Go

I like to tout the expression “Let go, Let God”.   But as with all things,  I often question if I’m actually living what I preach.  And rightly so.   To find out,  I headed off to India for a month,  declaring it my My Eat Pray Love year.    Well, OK, so it was only a month, and I was on a guided tour.  But learning and insight can take place anywhere at anytime.  I had already spent a good many years wandering the globe on solo journeys, so I can tell you it makes no difference.  But I digress. The point is, after 30 years of marriage and co-dependent living, I was incredibly fearful about stepping out into the world on my own.  This journey was about taking a risk on myself, on my life.  It was about practicing trust in the universe to guide me, and simply letting go.  Letting go Read More

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Staying Friends After Separation & Divorce

Although maintaining a friendship with your ex is part of popular culture now, it’s unrealistic to expect this to happen immediately.  There’s a reason you parted,  let’s keep that in mind.  There needs to be time for healing to occur after all the grieving, and there’s no telling how long that will take.  Grieving’s unpredictable like that.    And after the grieving, being friends with your ex doesn’t mean you  take on BFF status (that’s Best Friends Forever for those who aren’t familiar with the acronym).   In an effort to maintain a friendly co-existence with my ex, we continued to seek each others company regularly right from the outset.  Partly due to family commitments, sometimes purely as companionship, and a whole lot because I was still in co-dependent mode.  While I was thoroughly enjoying my new-found sense of freedom, he looked sad and lonely.  And so I continued to feel responsible for his happiness,  just as Read More

It started with an unconscious recreation of the Cinderella complex – which is an inability to distinguish fairytale from reality.

Fairytale Relationships – When ‘Loving Too Much’ is Destructive

In June of 2014, my 30 year marriage came to an end via text message.  After years of feeling invisible, powerless, voiceless and unloved, it seemed my efforts to make my husband love me amounted to nothing.   Two years on, after a cancer diagnosis pushed me into some deep soul-searching,  I discovered it wasn’t so much that my husband didn’t love me,  rather, he was reflecting back to me the lack of love I already had for myself.    You see, in all of life, everything we experience, and the way we experience it, is a reflection of our inner most thoughts at even the most subconscious level. Thoughts are powerful like that.  I have never held strong values about anything, therefore my boundaries were flimsy.  And without a good dose of self-respect, self-love, of course I attracted a partner who showed me every part of my wounded self.   In fact, Read More